Fears may 21,2006

Most of the night I spent it being scared of someone outside that might kill me. and one of the moments i remember most is looking outside while alex sat on a bed looking at me an me thinking i didn't want to feel anything for him. i kept telling myself not to feel anything a he looked at me...then the dream switches and he is tied to a chair and he is telling me that there is a crazy cop outside killing people( my earlier fear) but i immedeatly recognize this isn't true. and i tell him that is not reality ad i remind him it is just a story that it is not happeneing currently. i look outside and i tell him you see there is noone really out there...its not a reality. even though he kind of keeps insisting he stops. then i am eating a cracker and he is still tied to a chair and i eat the cracker and i kiss him and give him food almost like a mother bird. and he eats it happily. then we have to get off this truck we are riding on. so we jump off and i had no shoes. i thought i had left them there on the truck. so i keep walking barefoot on concrete and my mother is walking on high heels and she is complaining to me that how can i not have my shooes. i am thinking we have so long to walk and she has high heels so shes worst off then me. so we keep walking and my brother is alot younger and he keeps bothering me and he had a wig on and i pulled it off...to mess back with him. then we get to a huge field and i am scared to go beyond that part with no shoes and alex comes alexand gives me my shoes from his back pocketand i am able to walk through the field without being scared and i wake up.