Dreams of Alex

It doesn't stop...
It's been over 3 months now where I keep having random dreams that we go back.
The one last night was crystal clear...I saw his face and heard his voice perfectly.
I am with someone else and the creepiest part is he has told me a few times he scared i will leave him for someone else...also he had a dream I had another man...
its too much and i am sick of it...
I just want to be happy with who I am with and put the whole Alex thing far behind me..

ITS OVER and I AM MOVING ON...

Queen of Egypt on a Camping Trip

i was on some camping expedition with like 20 other people. alot of them were my friends....we would hike then stop at a house which had showers and rooms to sleep. then the next day get up and keep going.
it seems we wanted to play a game before showering so we played this wierd game that Yami (emily's mom) was my mother(the queen of eygpt) and i was her daughter...and we would let different boys come in and prove themselves as worthy suitors. so one that i remember most was this one boy that said he was from pompei italy. he was skin headed...he had hazel eyes and i remember he walked in and she eyed him and started to speak to him very interested...and i watched. then when she approved i was able to talk to him( i swear it was like we were living out another life but in normal clothes) and it was wierd cause i didn't talk hardly...he started coming up behind me and whispering in my ear and i got a rush of electricity and then got up infront of me and we started making out hardcore and he was wearing a roman gown and i was wearing an egyptian nothing(like nothing almost on...lol) and he started to fuck me but i stopped him and myself...
and i was like "after the bath and you have to use a condom."
and he was like "oh yeah of course..."
and i was thinking "well you didn't remember a sec ago buddy. "
so then we all separated cause everyone had to shower and there was a girl i liked also and i kinda forgot about him for a moment and i asked her to come outside at night in the woods with me and she was all chicken about it but finally agreed but then i remembered the boy and hoped she was asleep when i went around to look... and she was.
so then its the next morning and the guy comes cause he had just woken up and stands behind me next to a huge tree outside. He looked at me at that moment as if we hadn't almost fucked the night before.
and i thought "hmmm i am going to wait with you mr." and he smiled at me and said good morning.
there were people standing all around waiting for everyone to start on our last day's journey. then i don't remember why me and two other guys broke away from the group...i think it was to go to the city for something and i remember coming back down a road and walking through some neighborhood and some old black lady was singing about Jesus and dancing and i started singing back and the guys were laughing cause my part of the song had NOTHING to do with Jesus...
so they said "where did you come up with that response to her song? LOL"
and i said "shut up i was doing it improvised"
so then we had to cut across a fence and almost fall in water to get across onto a highway and thats when i woke up when i crossed over the fence.

Cat Man

i dreamt i was making love to a cat man...
he looked like a man but with a tail...
he was hoooooooooooooooooot as fuck though...
so at first i tried to play victim and i noticed he wasn't interested
and when i asked him what was wrong he was like" your no challenge, so that bored me."
so i said "oh yeah you want a fucking challenge!?"
and i jumped on top of him and we started werestling...
at this point he was a complete man no tail anywhere that i saw...
and i remember he threw me at some old man first that kissed me and i threw him off me and i said "your saliva is old i don't like the texture of it i want him!"
and i jumped on top of him again and we started kissing and it was perfect and we started to have sex and all of our clothes were on...
thats all i really remember...

IN THE CLUB...

Last night I had a dream with Alex again...
this time it started that I was entering a club and he was at the bottom of the stairs that I had to pass by in order to enter the club. So I made pretend I didn't' see him and walked by and he grabbed me by the waist and said hi and I was nice and said hi back and I don't remember much after that except that I was being kinda snobby or more like kinda uninterested in talking to him too much..So I left to talk to other people and hang with my friends...But somewhere in there we started hanging out and I was hanging with him and Francesca came and I was kinda worried she would give me attitude but she was super nice and gave me a huge hug and we just all sat in a couch with drinks chillin an then they left outside to go smoke and I remember looking for my cigarettes to go outside with them..

Then the dream changes and (get this) I am Shane's girlfriend! ha! We are hanging out and his dad keeps coming into the room so he won't have sex with me...LOL and me and Shane are like uh whatever with that we aren't even gonna have sex or anything...And then pookers was living at his house and some other stuff there but I don't remember the rest..
I wasn't even thinking of Shane...He must be somewhere in my subconsious still...Whatever with that.

Time Travel

It starts that I am on some sort of old pirate ship...Not with pirates with good people but it was one of those ships. But the ship sinks and I am looking at like if I was watching a movie and I see it going deep down into the water and one woman scurrying out to reach the top and she does and she swims to an island and I swim to an island and then others come and I remember thinking the rest of the people must be on other islands.

Then we start exploring the island and I see two older men (physists I think to myself)and they are having a scholarly conversation and I think to myself "shit there's other smart people on tea island...This must not be deserted at all." and so we talk to them and this part gets blurry but we get on a subway train that takes us into parallel dimensions and we end up in time square in NYC. And I tell my sister who was the girl I was with that this train is going through some sort of hole in the fabric of space to go from an island in the middle of nowhere to NYC. So I don't remember the middle but I do remember her making a bet with me about something and telling me that if I lose I would have to spend a week on the island and I thought that was a pretty good idea without even losing the bet...Ha! And she decided to come with me anyways cause she thought I wouldn't be able to cook for myself...LOL!

So then we get there and there are big trampolines and I remember that's where we would sleep. Because the trampolines were made of really soft sheer material. So then I don't remember cause it gets blurry but we end up on a tour bus in china, and I ask the tour guide what year is it and he tells me playing around 1900's! And I was like ummmm I know its not the 1900's what year is it really? And he says 1958 of course. And I look around and I tell him wait so none of you know what a computer is? And everyone looks at me funny. And we get off and I start just seeing everything around me tripping out that it was 1958. And that's when I woke up...

Alex and The Doves

i had not dreamnt of alex in a while and its funny that i finally do.

so it starts that we are somewhere and i see him and he has like 4 bags of candy in his hands and he walks out the door and before he leaves i tell him "hey wait you mean to tell me that you have 4 bags of candy and you haven't even offered a single piece to me?"

(its funny cause in earlier dreams he has always shared things...the first dream we ever had together he shared a piece of his sandwich)

so he looks back at me as hes walking down the front lawn of wherever we were and he looks at me like nope don't feel like sharing and keeps walking...and i am looking at him through the glass door thinking what a fucking asshole and i am tapping a lollipop i have in my mouth on the door as i think this(so i obviously had my own candy)

then i guess he becomes guilty and he starts walking towards me and i start running away saying "i don't want it...don't come back to give it to me cause i don't want it..."

and we finally settle down on the floor. and somewhere in there we start kisssing and at first its rough like we don't want to but soon its as if we start remembering how good it is between us and the kissing becomes more passonate and longer. and i can feel electricity flowing through my body. and we finally stop after a long while and i look at him but it didn't look like him it looked like jose and i was liek why did it turn into jose? when its really alex?(very movie scene like when someone thinks its someone but it turns into the person they don't want) but i don't really pay much mind and we are both kinda freaking out that there is still so much electricity between us. but it was still clearly alex.
i think i remember me saying something like you see how good it still is and he agrees that he felt the electrical impulses.

Then the dream switches and I am in a beach with a group of other people. we are all spiritual people of some sort. each of us represents a religion or a type of spirituality. the beach is beautiful and sunny the water beautiful also. There is one guy who is taking a plastic bag and throwing into the water and one of the other guys goes thats not what you do with it and he grabs the bag and flings it into the air and all these beautiful white doves fly out of teh bag. and i remember thinking oH MY GOD THAT WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I HAVE EVER SEEN. and then we huddle into a group and one of the jewish men are saying something...there was a jew man, a muslim man, a wiccan girl, me and some other people...these are the ones i can see clearly. the jew seem to be the leader. so he says somethig but i remember thinking wow we are each the most special in our religions. the most devoted teh most piritual and we are the ones that will unite all of these religions...so we go and we are leaving home and walking into an airport and i told him "do you realize we are one of each religion? how cool is that? " and he is liek "of course. that is the only way to do what we have to do" and i kept walkign by myself out into teh airport. and i remember my teeth were falling out but only my two bottom ones and i freaked but i decided to just pull them out and then i noticed that those teeth were liek caps cause i had a perfectly good set of teeth underneath and i looked in a piece of metal on an elevator and yes my teeth were still perfect so i threw the others away and kept walking...that is all i remember...there was sooooo much more to each dream but its a blur...i slept almost 14 hours...so i dreamnt alot last night.

Dream racism

It starts off that I am someone's girlfriend but I became very dominant with him and he left all upset at me and in a way I was like fucking pussy get out of my face...I did like him but I could care less if he left because he was acting so dramatic for nothing. Then I am talking with Alexandra and she's telling me How I should be a little softer but I am really not paying any attention and I am looking around for something...Finally it switches and I am with some black man and I am his girlfriend and I am really happy. He doesn't get stupid with me. He is a football player or something cause we were talking about his shoes and how he had to get new ones...He was gorgeous and tall and strong. So we start fooling around and he starts taking off my panties and finally he goes inside of me but I was baby woah remember your really big take it slow honey(LOL) so he does and it feels like heaven. So then after I remember we are looking cause we heard people coming and we were doing this in a sneaky spot...(HA!)

so then it switches and I am looking like at a movie or documentary and its about these 3 black men who were really special. They came down to earth to teach the black race something different back in the settlers days. They had this auric glow around them(pink and orange auras). They were very spiritually strong. So I see how they took up a piece of land and built these beautiful houses AROUND the trees. And they lived in what looked like a forest. I saw the houses change and get better until finally they were really beautiful and made of cement and freshly painted in rich brown-oranges and yellows on the frames. And they were coming out of their house and each man was dressed in tuxedos and they were sending their very well dressed sons to school. And then after the children ran off the men stayed and they said a poem. (which I cannot remember ...i do remember something about the ocean turning into night) and then I am in a prison and I am looking for them in the security areas where the workers are not the prisoners. And I see on a piece of paper taped to jail bars the dates they died. It said in 1804. All three of them died the same year. And I walked out and 3 white girls (blonde blue eyed white trash looking) came out from around the corner. They were extremely dirty almost as if they were inmates and had been rolling in dirt. And one of them told me something like they were never special or something...I can't remember...I just know it was negative and it was about the three men. And I was sad & confused walking out of the prison and then I realized they had stuck them in jail to take their land cause it was such good land to build on. They died in jail like criminals. And I walk out into the night and the ocean was banging on the water on rocks up ahead angrily and I was separated by a cement wall. And I just started to cry. I wasn't crying for me I was crying for them. For what had been done to them and the tears came from deeep inside and they resonated in my heart and I cried and I cried until I woke up...